Broken spirit, broken soul

We all go through points in our lives where we feel like our spirit or our soul (or both if you’re that unlucky) have been broken for one reason or another. However, I never though I would feel like this at 26. I always just thought it would, well, happen much, much later in life (if it was going to happen at all). But I was wrong.

So much has happened lately, and I have felt that it has been very hard to keep my head above water. But what I can say is that I am so lucky to have my amazing fiancé to keep me sane, an amazing best friend who is always there (despite being on the other side of the world), and an amazing family who help me through every rough and dark patch.

What I can say, however, is that I have learned so much over the last year, about my job, about my blog and blogging in general, about myself and about the people I choose to surround myself with, and have come to numerous conclusions. Here are just a few:

  1. Not everyone who walks into your life should be considered a friend, no matter how long you have known them.
  2. There are always people who are going to take advantage of you. Whether it be for your kindness, your success or your hard work.
  3. I work really hard at everything I do, but sometimes this leads to unnecessary stress that ends up in tears and panic. I need to learn how to take a step back and not let my work – as much as I enjoy it – take over.
  4. Blogging is not a breeze, and I use a lot of my free relaxation time to put in the hours. This can lead to me being more exhausted than I need to be, but it also leads to a lot of happiness when I get such amazing feedback from the amazing brands I work with and from my readers.
  5. I hardly ever put myself first, and that needs to change in order for me to cope better with my anxiety and continue my journey to a more stable emotional and mental state. (Here’s a post I wrote about my anxiety).
  6. I don’t believe in myself and I recognise that now more than ever.

Unicorn you need to believe in yourself

I have to admit, these six points are quite deep. And, while reading them again and again, I realise that I have grown so much over the last year in so many ways, and that I am proud of myself for recognising my flaws and for biting the bullet (sometimes) and making drastic changes and decisions in my life in order to make it better.

While I am writing this, I have decided that the proudness I feel should not be taken advantage of. Instead I need to remind myself more often of how far I have come and how incredibly lucky I am to be doing what I love and be surrounded by very special souls, even if there are only very few of them, and continue to do what I do best and look forward to the future (which is bright so full of hope).

I also need to remind myself that even though I might feel as though I have a broken spirit and broken soul now, there are so many ways to fill in the cracks – including with gold!

Kintsugi - the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum.

Kintsugi – the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum.

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