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How to make friends as an adult – because it’s kak hard

Making new friends as an adult is kak hard and, even though I am married to my best friend, it’s good for us (and you) to have a circle of friends you can socialise with and confide in when you want or need to. 

Unfortunately, it’s not as easy to make new friends as you might think, and I have found it increasingly harder to make friends the older I get.

If I have to think about why I find it so hard, it probably comes down to the fact that – when I am not working – my time is spent at home with our little family doing things together and catching.

Additionally, I spend (at least) one weekend a month working, which whittles down the amount of time I have off (in comparison to those who work a ‘regular’ 9 – 5 job), and a week of ‘late shift’.

I have found that the older I get, the fussier I am about who I choose to spend the limited amount of time I have ‘free’ with.

Be yourself

Being yourself gives you a better chance of meeting, connecting and keeping new friends you make. By sharing what you are interested in, your opinions and your hobbies (just a few examples) you are ensuring that once a connection is made, it can be nurtured, grown and live longer.

Equally, you are ensuring that you connect with people who will gel with you from the get-go, making the whole process that much easier.

Don’t talk kak

There is nothing worse – in my opinion – than wasting time talking about something as sucky as the weather. So cut the kak and skip right to the good stuff.

In order to foster a relationship, open up a little and talk about the real stuff. No, I am not talking about your deepest darkest secrets (at least not from the get-go, anyway), but start with things that actually matter, something that is meaningful.

If you’re stuck, think of a question you would like to be asked, and ask them/talk about that instead. My ideal questions would be about what I like, what I don’t like, my beliefs, the weirdest things I have seen/eaten – that kind of stuff.

Volunteer / Try something new

Trying something new is intimidating, especially when you head to a new hobby and don’t know a single soul. But, when you try something new, you open yourself up to the opportunity to make new friends.

By putting yourself out there, you are surrounding yourself with people who choose to attend and enjoy that specific thing – giving you one thing in common already!

Use your kids/pets

Having kids and/or pets is a great way to make new friends. You are able to meet friends through your child’s playgroup or school, at after hour clubs, or even places like antenatal classes.

If you have a fur-baby, on the other hand, why not head to the nearest dog park with your pup. You’re guaranteed to bump into someone who thinks your fur-baby is super cute, striking up a convo and a potential friend.

Go out more

Some of my best friends to date I have made through other friends, and these are people I would never have met otherwise.

So next time your friend asked you to attend their moerse braai, say yes! You never know you might meet and who you might click with.

Listen, I am not saying go out every night. I am not even saying you should go out every weekend. But make an effort to go to at least one social gathering a month and you’re guaranteed to make at least one new friend. Go on, leave the house…

Honestly, making new friends as an adult is really hard. And, while these suggestions might sound easy or more like common sense, I am hoping that there is at least one suggestion you might not have thought about, that you’re willing to try and that will lead to a new friend or two. 

If you have any additional ideas on how to make new friends as an adult, leave them in the comment section below!

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4 Comments

  • Reply Tammi

    I’m finding that I’m much fussier as an adult about who I spend my time with.

    August 15, 2018 at 7:08 pm
    • Reply Claire Henderson

      Same! But I don’t think that it’s a bad thing at all. xo

      August 20, 2018 at 9:55 am
  • Reply Fran

    Love this so true! Thanks for the tips.

    August 15, 2018 at 6:11 pm
    • Reply Claire Henderson

      You’re welcome lovely xo

      August 20, 2018 at 9:56 am

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