Wedding traditions we chose to avoid and why

I am the furthest thing from a traditional human in my day-to-day life, and Jeanne and I are not traditional as a couple, so why on earth should our wedding day be filled with traditional things and happenings that we don’t really, well, want or need?

There are a number of things that Jeanne and I have opted out of when it comes to our wedding day, and I thought I would give you a little run down on what they are and the reasons we have chosen not to include them in our special day. Just in case you wondered…

I feel like wedding days are more and more becoming what couples want them to be, instead of them being what they are expected to be by family, friends and society. Which I like and completely agree with.

Times have changed so much and, although I don’t agree with throwing all sense out the window, I feel like we are more free to do what we want. So here are the four traditional wedding elements that Jeanne and I have decided to leave out of our big day:

Having a cake

There are a couple of reason why Jeanne and I have decided not to have a cake at our wedding, both of them being pretty practical reasons actually. The first reason was because it costs a lot of money for a wedding cake that – most of the time, at most weddings in my opinion – doesn’t get eaten on the night.

I have numerous friends who have been married for a couple of years and still have found wedding cake in the back of their fridge. We just feel that the money is better spent elsewhere instead of on cake that will be forgotten about, go stale and probably get thrown away.

The second reason is because we have three different options for dessert, which I think our guests would prefer to choose from than just cake. With the likes of delicious hot desserts and other sweet treats, there is no point in spending extra money on cake that might not get eaten on the night anyway. It was either we have cake and it’s our dessert, or we have dessert and no cake.

Wearing a veil

I feel like this is a bit of a touchy one. I have never, ever, ever wanted to wear a veil at my wedding. Ever. As someone who thinks of herself as non-traditional, I feel like wearing a veil is as traditional as it gets, and in my opinion I just feel like there is no need for one.

To me, a veil serves absolutely no purpose. I don’t want something covering my face which will be all done up, and I don’t want one just draped over the back of my head and dress as I really feel it has no purpose.

Instead, I have decided to wear a beautiful gold head piece with my sister, that will compliment our hairstyles – what ever they might look like, we have not chosen yet but we have looked as some ideas which you can see here – and will fit beautifully with our colour scheme and my dress. To me, that means a lot more!

Throwing the garter

The thought of throwing a garter in to a crowd of, well, men I guess it would be, just never sat right with me. Whether I was going to marry and woman or a man. Either way, I would be the furthest thing from comfortable with Jeanne taking something that far up my leg and under my dress off in front of my parents to start with.

Personally I think I would be mortified.

Also, I don’t want to throw my invisible garter in to a crowd of people who are made up mostly of family anyway. I mean, that wouldn’t be weird at all… ick. I have to say though, that I think I have found a little something that I find more me and tasteful that I will wear. But it’s a surprise!

Not seeing each other the day/night before our wedding day

I have not spoken about this on The Boldest Type yet – and I am sure I will get around to writing about it in the future – but Jeanne and I were in a long distance relationship for four very long years.

We spent a lot of time apart, and a lot of time wishing we could be together that not seeing each other the day/night before our wedding did not even come up in not one single discussing, and I think that is because we love spending time together and we would rather be together the night before thinking and talking about our big day and getting all excited together.

We have booked a room at the venue the night before our wedding and we are going to go out to dinner with our close family and go to bed together knowing that when we wake up we are going to get ready and get married! Eeek!

If you’re married, were there are traditions that you left out? Or did you do the whole traditional shebang? Let me know in the comments down below.

Feature image:

Share on
Leave a comment


  • Reply Melanie Chisnall

    Oh my goodness, if my hubby and I could get married all over again I think I’d forgo throwing the garter for sure!! It was so embarrasing. Good on you for doing what YOU want! 🙂

    July 15, 2017 at 11:04 am
    • Reply Claire Henderson

      I know, right? The whole garter thing just doesn’t do it for me so I am certainly going to give it a miss 😉 Thank you! xo

      July 27, 2017 at 9:13 am
  • Reply Charlie

    Good choices. We didn’t do cake either. We had my mom’s marvelous chocolate brownies with coffee instead. And every crumb got eaten. We also did not do the veil, it just did not fit with my design of a red Victorian ballgown wedding dress. We did do the before night apart, and only saw each other on my walk up the garden path, which made that moment ever so poignant. We also didn’t do the garter throwing, I wanted to keep it and my bouquet!

    July 10, 2017 at 10:06 pm
  • Reply Jeanne

    And we agreed on all except the veil. Hahahaha. But nothing else matters except you and I will be married and none of those things will change how we feel about each other. I love

    July 10, 2017 at 6:11 pm
  • Leave a Reply